BusyCowboy

Fernando Torres & Olalla

Joe Cole & Carly Zucker

Steven Gerrard & Alex Curran-Gerrard

Wayne Rooney & Coleen McLoughlin

Kaka & Caroline

Beauty & the Beast: Peter Crouch & Abbey Clancy

Beauty & the Beast II: Claude Makelele & Noemie Lenoir

Beauty & the Beast Hall of Fame: Bastian Schweinsteiger & Sarah Brandner

I don’t want to be rude (translation: I do), [...]

Player of the season: Cristiano Ronaldo

Shit Lookalike of the season: Peter Crouch and the Special K logo

Horror haircut of the season: Jermain Defoe’s Wembley arch

Hottest Wife of the season: Cheryl Cole (Ashley Cole’s wife)

Photo of the season: Kevin Davies’ dislocated finger

Fan of the season: Because relegation can be fun

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In no particular order, the 10:
Peter Crouch: Seriously, have you seen his robot dance? Tell me that wouldn’t be awkward.

Vikash Dhorasoo: Because he could shave directly beforehand and have a five o’clock shadow by the time he’s done with the foreplay, among many, many other reasons. If you like watching a musk ox mating then [...]