When Jonah Falcon was in fifth grade, his class was allowed to use the school swimming pool. Like many ten-year-olds, the boy was modest and decided to change into his swimsuit in a bathroom stall. Locker-room noises ricocheted outside as Jonah dropped his pants. Then, silence. At first, he wondered if everyone had run away. He looked up and saw fingers wrapped over the top of his stall. Then more fingers. And eyes. His classmates, as many as could wedge themselves around the perimeter of the stall, had hoisted themselves up to peer at what Jonah had exposed.
Jonah did not know it was unusual for a ten-year-old boy to have an eight-inch penis. He was unaware that his organ was already longer, thicker and heavier than any owned by his classmates’ fathers.
The average adult penis, according to the Kinsey Institute, measures just under six inches(15cm) when erect. Most men — about eighty-seven percent — are between five (12.7cm) and seven (17.8cm) inches. Dr. Alfred Kinsey found that the largest reported penis was a bit more than nine inches erect.
Jonah Falcon’s penis is 9.5 (24cm) inches flaccid, 13.5 (34cm) inches erect. Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection. Those who have witnessed it describe it as “grotesque,” “gorgeous,” “hideous” and “stunning.” Falcon, who stands five foot nine, thinks his penis is perfectly formed, with a fifteen-degree downward curvature at the six-inch mark and absent the blotching, lumpiness and sudden bends that mark some oversize sex organs. A penis this size functions, physiologically, like any other, according to urologists, a claim substantiated by Falcon. His balls are proportionately huge, each the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands — campfire style — from a distance of six inches.
His dick stretches across his pelvis and settles against his outer thigh. The head of Falcon’s organ rises in unmistakable relief from beneath the fabric. His balls, especially when he pushes them up as he does today, look like the wide, oval eyes ascribed to Martians in popular drawings. Never does the sight of Falcon’s equipment suggest a kielbasa or any such inert object. In clothes, with every step, Falcon’s penis is alive. He refers to his penis as “it” or “my dick.” “I won’t call it Little German or Ralph, like other guys,” he says. “More insecure guys name their dicks.”
