When you’re learning a new language, one of the most fun parts is learning how to swear. Of course, Italian swear words always sound prettier to my non-Italian ear than their English equivalents, but just because they sound prettier doesn’t mean their meaning is!
5. Merda! (MEHR-dah)
Now, because I’d often get the “How do you say ’shit’ in Italian?” question from students, I’ve learned this one - but I’ve honestly not heard it as much in Italy as I have some of the other swear words on this page. This is, however, how you say “shit” in Italian, and it’s used in exactly the same way we use it in English. It also is incorporated into other phrases for more colorful meanings as well.4. Cazzo! (KAHTZ-soh)
This is the other question I’d get from the occasional (bolder) students - “How do you say ‘fuck’ in Italian?” This is the answer - “cazzo” - although it literally is a colorful term for “penis”, and this one you do hear.3. Testa di cazzo! (TES-tah dee KAHTZ-soh)
Sometimes translating things literally is what makes these swear words amusing to me - but sometimes it works out quite well, and that’s the case with this little gem. Instead of calling someone a “dickhead,” in Italian you’d call them a “head of dick,” or a “testa di cazzo.” Which, really, is the same thing, right? This is also a general way of calling someone an “asshole,” but the Italian “testa di cazzo” has a bit more spice and so isn’t language you’ll want to use in polite company. “Cazzo” has lots of uses in Italian, like “culo”.2. Vaffanculo! (vah-fahn-KOO-loh)
This is a red-hot number, so use it with caution. It’s the Italian equivalent of “fuck off” or “go fuck yourself,” but literally means something vaguely like “go do it in the ass.” “Culo” on its own (meaning “ass,” but in a much more vulgar way than the English can really translate) has many, many uses in Italian, but this is the one non-Italians can latch onto quickly - which is both entertaining and a bit dangerous! The accompanying gesture for “vaffanculo” is the same as it is in English - a middle finger.1. Porca vacca! (POR-kah VAH-kah)
This is my favorite one, hands down. In English, I’ve got lots of ways to say, “well, dammit!” in varying degrees of colorful language. In Italian, it’s no different. “Porca vacca” literally means “pig cow,” but it’s used in much the same way we’d say, “crap!” or “damn!” or the like - it’s not the most polite way to say it, but it’s also not the worst. What I particularly love about it is the literal translation (it cracks me up to think people are saying, “pig cow!”), and what’s fun about this is that you can put “porca” in front of just about anything. “Porca vacca” is my favorite for its literal silliness, but “porca miseria” (”miserable pig” or “pig poverty”) is a very close second-favorite for my perceived sense of the melodrama that goes with it. You’ll hear variations on these at Italian sporting events when the home team does something stupid.
